Thoughts from places

(title stolen shamelessly from John Green)

Every time I try to write a blog entry, I always feel like I need to make it some big, moving, completely recapitulative project, but then I just wind up listing things in my life that are going well. I think that's okay, too.

So, for anyone who knows me, I generally multi-task EVERYTHING. The other reason why it takes me so long to write blog entries is because I start one, but then I have a million other things going on in other windows, and I get lost in them for awhile. Right now, I've got pandora, youtube, my bank account, and my Excel spreadsheet of my budget until I leave.

I think this multi-tasking is also a pretty good representation of how I deal with things in my life, too. Namely, I have so many things going on that some of those things might not be super pleasant things, but with all of the Things, there are bound to be good things, too! Right now, I just found out that France finally reimbursed me for my bloodwork in January, and although it's a bit less than I thought it would be, it's currently taking my bank account out of the negative numbers, for which I'm grateful.

We're getting down to the wire in terms of finishing up this year, and although I update my French budget nearly daily, counting down the euros until I'm gone, it still hasn't quite set in that I'll be leaving France in a month and a half. I've actually already had my last class with some of my students, since they're leaving for their internships soon, but I didn't even say a proper goodbye, promising that I would try to see them before I officially leave (my contract ends in April, but I'll be sticking around until May 16th).

I think it's also the same philosophy that I had the first time around when I was leaving France, reinforced by my frisbee team in Paris: "On se dit pas "adieu"; c'est "à plus tard"!"

We won't say goodbye; just see you later! That's definitely been my outlook on things for awhile now. With all the places life has taken me so far, I won't let myself believe that this will be the last time I'll be seeing these places, these people. I always need to believe that I'll be back because it would be too heart-breaking otherwise... which is why I know that I've got to make it back one day!

In other random good news (since I'm checking out my other windows), looks like I'll be getting some money to help me along with my rent while I'm finishing out my year here! I'm either super lucky or things just really do always work out for the best.

What I've learned this week:

New Housemate Franck uses Axe deodorant.

There's a town in Normandy called "Sassey". (Population: 163)

Afternoon bowling in Evreux on a Wednesday is absolutely hopping with teenagers. I've never seen a full bowling alley in my life, and even though this one only had 8 lanes, I'm pretty sure it still counts, since it was only 3:00 p.m.

Also, in this bowling alley, they give you a print-out of your scores at the end AND it's only 5.50 euros for two games AND shoe rental! Katie wound up beating me by 2 points, and I'm pretty sure our cumulative scores after two games were 127 and 129.

The boys in one of my classes, even though they are loud and obnoxious, really do want to learn English (well, most of them). One kid told me that he spent all summer translating Eminem lyrics into English, and the other wanted to stop learning about Bob Dylan and start listening to Earth Wind and Fire's "September".

No matter how hard you try to get kids interested in something that is not inherently related to them in some way, the majority of them will not find it interesting. The modern art museum and Bob Dylan expo was a bust, even though it got them out of school and into Paris for a full day.

Remembering events is a lot less important than thinking back on how I was feeling around them.

Things working out.

When I woke up earlier than I anticipated this morning, I thought that it would be the perfect opportunity for me to FINALLY write the real blog entry that I promised I would. Little did I know it would turn out being exactly a month from when I originally promised I would.

And, of course, 2 seconds after I wound up finishing typing those sentences up there, Juliette came in, and I had to continue passing on my American childhood to her.

I can see already that this will need more explanation.

So, way back when, I was living with David (the Spanish cook) and Daniel (the Martiniquais car expert). A month ago though, David decided that he would move back to Spain before he anticipated, and Daniel and I were stuck thinking that we were going to have to split his part of the rent. We both didn't have the funds to cover his half of the rent, so we sought out another person to fill his room (but not his room in our hearts). This is how we got Franck.

Franck is a super good guy, and he also happens to have Juliette, his recently-turned-three year-old. She is a goofy goober. She also has never experienced such staples of an American childhood as Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba, so I'm quite enjoying showing her youtube clips and watching her giggle with glee. Of course there are also moments where she is unhappy and/or yelling, but thankfully, those moments are far fewer than the giggly happy ones.

That's the big thing that happened most recently, but the other big thing that happened was going to Berlin and Sevilla for spring break! France gets two whole weeks for nearly every vacation, which means lots of exploring time. Katie and I decided to go to Berlin to see Melissa Etheridge (in fact, that's how we first met on the Asssistants in France forum when she randomly asked who wanted to go see Melissa in Berlin). It was perfect because I always wanted to see Berlin, and she always wanted to see Melissa, so it was a pretty amazing week. We did all of the obligatory and important monument sightings, but we also did several less well known gay sights, which were equally important.

Also, we can't forget the amazing aid of Kathleen, Katie's (and now, my) friend from college, who served as cultural liaison, German interpreter, photographer, good conversation, and lovely company. I'm glad that I get to know her more when we get back to the US.

Right after Berlin, we flew to Sevilla, where we were greeted by Chloe and David. We stayed in David's house with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's sister, and David had made beds that pulled out like drawers in a dresser

This is a promise

That soon, I will write a blog post. And I will update you on my travels, seeing the world through the eyes of a best friend and newcomer to European travel, how to deal with high schoolers who only want to talk about drugs and sex, going on adventures with a lot of wonderful people, and how long France shuts down for when more than 4 inches of snow falls (hint: less than a week, but longer than a day).

I'll be back!

(re-)Bienvenue aux Etats-Unis !

I am on a plane on the way back to the US to spend about 2 weeks with my friends and family, and I decided that maybe it’s about time to write a blog post! I can’t remember where I left off, but I think it was just before Thanksgiving. As I’ve still got 2.5 more hours left in my journey that started at 4:30 a.m. when Hannah and Alexis drove me to the airport from their apartment (it’s currently 7:00 p.m. France-time, which means I’ve been in transit for the past 14.5 hours. Eep.), I think I’ve got plenty of time to wrack my brain and remember the important details.


1. Thanksgiving

One of my friends Emily invited me and some other friends to spend Thanksgiving weekend at her house in Doudeville (lovingly referred to as “Dude-ville”). We had such a fantastic feast! Also, as we had a Brit in our midst, we got to share all of our holiday traditions and stories, such as how Thanksgiving is obligatorily an awkward family event. We had chicken with garlic butter, stuffing, gravy, baked macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, chocolate-covered pretzels, peanut butter cookies, pumpkin pie, and chocolate cheesecake. So good!


2. School
My teachers continue to be pretty wonderful. They are consistently open to my ideas and helpful in terms of giving me feedback as to what they would like me to focus on with their classes, and I don’t think I could ask for a better group of co-teachers.

I’ve also been constantly evaluating my skills as a teacher, since I’ve never really had full reign over a classroom before (though my “classes” are really just groups of 3 – 12 students and I’m always next door to the actual English teacher). There have definitely been moments that could have gone better, but there have also been moments where I’ve surprised myself with how I handled the situation on my own. One example comes to mind: during my session, one of my students flat-out refused to participate –she told me that she hated all of the English teaching assistants and that she would not talk at all, no matter what. After trying to no avail to get her to talk about anything, including why she hated English class so much, I decided that it would be better for her this session if she went back to the other English teacher.

I debated whether or not this was the right decision for a while afterward, and I’ve come to the conclusion that though I would not send a student out of my classroom for not participating in a Real English Class, I think that it was necessary for the dynamic of our session together that this student stayed in the very much less oral communication-based Real English Class in the classroom next door. Being able to participate in these pull-out English lessons with me is supposed to be a privilege, and the other students who were in the classroom truly were interested (if not completely confident in their oral English skills) to communicate with me.

I’m hoping to keep finding a balance, and I think it’s already good that I know that I will have lessons that are going to totally bomb, no matter how well I prepare for them. I feel blessed with two important skills that I’ve discovered about myself in a classroom: one, my ability to adjust at the drop of a dime (as evidenced by my worksheet on “Happy New Year” that turned into a cultural discussion about the myths behind “the end of the world” and 2012); and two, my increased willingness to just shut my mouth and not over-explain everything so that my students are forced to fill the silences themselves. I am impressed by them more and more every day – not only just in terms of their English skills but in their ideas of moral/social/political issues and the way that their ideas are already so clearly formed and developed.


3. Home Life

David (the Spaniard) and Daniel (the Martiniquais) are consistently the best guys ever. I always forget sometimes that they’re 10 and 13 years older than me because we joke around like teenagers and are constantly playing jokes on each other or poking fun in all good ways. David still spoils us with his cooking (and I’m doing my best to return the favor by baking lots of delicious goodies for dessert), and Daniel is forever scatterbrained but would do anything for either of us if we needed it. I feel so lucky to have found these guys and am so happy that I get to spend the rest of the school year getting to know them and goof around with them.


4. Love
I am so happy! I have a wonderful girlfriend, lots of loving friends, and little reminders all over that I’ve got so much love in my life right now, and I couldn’t be more grateful for everyone who shows me love. And also, I feel solid and content in all of the best ways, and I haven’t had that in a relationship in so long, and I am so happy.


5. Upcoming Adventures

December:
- Heading to the US RIGHT THIS MINUTE!
- Hanging out with Katie and friends in Paris for New Year’s Eve
January:
- DENISE COMES TO VISIT!
February:
- Berlin with Katie to see Melissa Etheridge and explore Germany for a week!
- …then off to Sevilla for a week to meet up with Daniel, David, and Chloe for an Andalusian road trip
So, that’s about it! I’m wishing everyone a loving and beautiful next couple weeks (oh, and for all of the new year, too). Joyeuses fêtes!

10 [More] Things

Since I'm not fully motivated to write a long post this time, I've decided to make another list.

10 Things That I've Done Since My Last Post:

1. Baked chocolate chip cookies (and discovered that for chewier cookies, I shouldn't put so much baking soda in)

2. Tried to see a free concert at the Bibliothèque d'Evreux but wound up being too late and also horribly lost.

3. Decided to get pizza and visit the free museum instead, which was wonderful.

4. Sort of planned my first real lesson that wasn't purely conversation-based.

5. Had a date with a French girl.

6. Spent the night with friends in Sotteville, talking life and learning how to play Euchre.

7. Watched Sound and Fury with a friend who had never seen it before.

8. Made little pumpkin pies in muffin tins.

9. Cleaned my room.

10. Started watching South of Nowhere again.

So, some exciting things, and some less-exciting things. But I'm definitely keeping busy!

Also, about 3 weeks til I'm back in the States for a little while, which is pretty exciting!

10 Things

Stealing an idea from Katie (thanks for the inspiration!)

10 Things I Love About France:

1. Baguettes

2. Travelling by train

3. Listening to people speak French

4. The (very brief) moment in a conversation right before the other person realizes that I have an accent

5. Discussions about cultural differences like censorship, political parties, and levels of formality embedded in language

6. How bright vegetables and fruits seem compared to their duller counterparts in the US

7. Access to free or reduced-price things until I'm 26

8. Walking amongst buildings that are older than my country

9. Drinking cider at lunch (sometimes)

10. Finally understanding the difference between rudeness and just French-ness

La chiromancie

Can we talk about that word for a second? I've kind of been holding off on writing a post about la chiromancie, mostly because up until just now, I didn't know that there was a word in French for it. La chiromancie is the science of palm-reading, which up until recently, I didn't think was much of a science. Let me tell you, reader: I am a believer. (I also like that romantisme is almost sort of hidden in there)

For our 2-week break for Toussaint, I not only explored Disneyland and hiked up to Chateau Gaillard with the other Les Andelysienne English assistant Chloe and her boyfriend, but I also decided to spend a few days out in Paris with my loves Hannah, Alexis, and Lia. We got to celebrate Halloween by watching Tim Burton movies with the Swedish House at the Cite Universitaire with caramel apples and home-made gourmet Reese's that I made at home. The next day, we headed to Les Peres Populaires, where Hannah works, to have a more intimate Halloween party with friends, where we dressed up, played Set, and had a drinking game with "Je n'ai jamais" ("Never have I ever"), which ended maybe a bit after it should have ended.

• 1: Ligne de vie (Line of life)
• 2: Ligne de tête (Line of head)
• 3: Ligne de coeur (Line of heart)
• 4: Anneau de Vénus (Venus ring)
• 5: Ligne de Soleil (Line of sun)
• 6: Ligne de Mercure (Line of mercury)
• 7: Ligne de chance (Line of luck)

The day I decided that I would head back to Les Andelys, Alexis drove me on his motorcycle over to Les Peres Populaires to hang out with Hannah while she was working. I enjoyed a delicious sandwich made by Hannah herself and worked on some of my Christmas cross-stitching projects. There was a guy sitting next to me at the bar, finishing off his third cup of coffee when he said he had to go, but I could tell that he definitely wanted to linger around more. As he stood up, he asked Hannah if I was her friend (we had been speaking English to each other, so I don't think he could tell whether or not I spoke French). She said yes, and I confirmed it, and he approached me and said that he had been looking at my hands since I sat down and asked if he could look at them.

I was a understandably a bit taken aback, but when I got the thumbs up from Hannah, I knew that this guy knew what he was doing (or at least did it often enough). He started off by telling me that I've had some health problems and that when I was around 8-10 years old, I had breathing problems, which was true! I got my tonsils and adenoids taken out around 10 years old because I could never breathe through my nose. He said that water is my element (truth), and that swimming would help with my breathing issues, but that water is not where my clarity lies because water has the ability to dilute oneself (he insisted- no baths when I need to clear my mind!). For clarity, I need to go to the Earth. Which is what I've been saying all along in terms of finding myself a relationship, but I digress. He also mentioned that around age 14, I had the realisation that I didn't have to always do what everyone told me to do anymore. I was always an obedient kid, but this is where I started to follow my own path and choose what I wanted to do (this is also when I started high school and decided that I would go against my parents' wishes and take French instead of Spanish, and also when I finally came out to myself and my friends).

This is about where he pointed out that he was getting goosebumps and that he could tell from afar that I had very special and very rare hands. He pointed out my Luck line, which ran all the way from the Moon section all the way nearly up to my fingers to Saturn. He said that this was extremely rare and that he'd never seen it before, and that it's a sign of heightened intuition. It doesn't quite mean that I can read other people and objects easily, but rather that they come to me and speak to me. He said that this is especially true of people who can't always speak for themselves, like toddlers, handicapped people, and immigrants (c'mon, everyone who knows me: how true is this???), and that I can find the innate beauty in objects from one simple glance.

After pointing out his goosebumps again, he moved onto my heart line. He told me that he saw lots of "trahisons", or abandonment, in all of my past relationships. This is about where he started to cry in recounting to me how up until now, I never was able to be complete in a relationship because I lost myself in the other person. I was always giving so much of myself until there was nothing left for the other person to love (this is where I started crying, too). I let people in up until a certain extent but never let them get any further, which is why I turn the focus onto them. He reasoned that my exes were never able to love me because I was doing too much loving them (sound familiar, all of my exes?).

He did say that there was a huge shift in my life about 8 months ago (!!!) and that I am finally on my way to loving myself enough to be a full person for myself and learn to trust others enough to love all of me. He showed me that my heart line was full of lots of love and was just a pure and loving heart in love with lots of people. The amazing thing is that he pinpointed the moment where I was just getting really sick and when my ex and I broke up and I had just had enough with getting turned down for who I was; having my girlfriend and my own body turn against me was my ultimate turning point for beginning to truly get back to me as a person and figure out who it is I am and what I want and need out of life and of the people who surround me. I don't think that I've lost the caring person that I was, but I'm finding myself to be more truthful to myself and to others about what my abilities are in love and in life.

He said that all of my lines are very weak, but they're getting stronger. After turning my hands over, he said that there are equal amounts masculine and feminine in my hands, and that there is a true balance between the two. He added that my hands and body have always been strong and that my head is just trying to catch up to them, to be as strong as the rest of me.

The last thing that he said was that I have come to a point in my life where I have to decide between a boring job and something more creative and artistically pleasing. For the moment, I'm taking that to mean that I just need to find creativity and passion through teaching the kids English and finding ways to make it interesting for all of us, though he also said that I would be really good at writing kids' books. I like to think that being an ASL interpreter would give me that kind of creative artistic satisfaction, though I haven't completely put away the idea of starting my own patisserie in America one day. I feel like I'm already well on my way to feeling complete, and I still can't believe how lucky I am that an old man in a bar was able to tell me all of the things that I already knew but needed to completely acknowledge and understand in order to truly accept myself as I am and get ready for all that life has to offer me.

Disneyland!

For those of you who don't know (or to whom I haven't admitted), I love Disney parks. There; I said it. Anyone who's gotten a peek at my iTunes collection surely notices my disproportionate amount of Disney theme music that I downloaded when I was a teenager and haven't had the heart to delete it, and I still sometimes use the background music from the parks as background noise.

My mom and brother and me (and my dad's finger) at Disneyland in California in 2008

My dad and me on Tower of Terror!

..and me in my little brown jacket and wide-mouthed terror this time 'round!
(they've made it trickier to get a good glimpse of these photos without buying them!)

So, I decided during my 2-week vacation where I had been craving alone time and thought it best not to spend a lot of money Really Travelling, I would instead go to Disneyland. Travel and tickets included, I only paid 100 euro (and that's including a 32-euro taxi back to Les Andelys, since the buses stop running at 6:30 p.m.!), and I did so much!

I started the day at Space Mountain, which was awesome! Definitely a good way to jump-start my morning. Then, I headed to the Indiana Jones coaster, hoping to grab a Fastpass so I could go back later and not wait in line, but as the wait time was only 5 minutes, I hopped right on!

For those of you who also don't know this about me, I am A Planner. I legit had my route of the parks planned out to the t. It also made me think of when I was in Disneyland Paris last time with the Smith girls.

Definitely also an awesome time, though I was still getting over "le gastro", which was rather unfortunate. I'm sure that they could probably still attest to the fact that I had a Game Plan. Not an unwavering Game Plan, but a plan of attack nonetheless.

We also had lots of downtime and moments of reveling in the French-ness of it all, and I'll never forget when Abby and I were sitting next to each other on the Indiana Jones coaster and could see the stretching fields of crops from one of our ascents up the coaster's hills. There is often a strange juxtaposition of American/English culture and French culture in daily life, but nowhere is this more apparent than in Disneyland, where everything is equally in French and English, even in the middle of Nowhere nearly an hour from Paris.

(me on Space Mountain this time around, behind a kid)

So, even moreso than with my friends, I had a Plan of Attack, and I managed to do absolutely everything I wanted to do and more, except for Rock N Rollercoaster, which was declared closed 5 minutes after I showed up due to "problèmes techniques". I still managed to slow down lots too, and I equally enjoyed my moments of sitting back and watching other people enjoy the magic for awhile. AND I didn't wind up waiting more than a half hour for any ride, except for Crush's Coaster, which was totally worth it!

I thoroughly enjoyed doing it alone, too, and getting to experience a sort of togetherness with everyone at the park with me, through shared smiles as the parade went by or shared laughs at the end of a big ride, or applauding the brass band on Main Street. Although I did enjoy all of those beautiful moments, I knew going in that this would probably be my first and last time doing Disney alone. Mostly, I knew it was probably my only opportunity to experience it on my own, since I'm so close and it's so inexpensive (compared to Disney World in Florida, where I would've paid at least $120 for the ticket alone, versus the 40 euro I paid here).

It definitely has to do with the location, too. I had already been, so I knew my way around, and everything is pretty much specifically designed to make you have a good time (well, aside from waiting in lines, unless you know how to go at the non-peak times, and the classic French attitude. I actually corrected one of the employees when he was sassing a lady for asking a question about an attraction that he thought didn't exist). If I had gone to, say, Rome, the sentiment would've been different. Though I'm sure I would have run into a lot of tourists, I don't know if I would have felt the same shared excitement looking at the Trevi fountain for the first time. Then again, maybe I would.

Anyway, point is, I never thought I would travel on my own, and now, I guess I've come all the way out to Normandy on my own, and then on top of that, I vacationed away from my new Normandy home on my own. So, maybe this is only the first of solitary adventures to come.

But in the meantime, I'm really looking forward to tentative plans of a Spanish road trip with my housemates, Daniel and David in February!

Picture Post!

Nearly all of the streets look like this. It is so hard for me not to walk down the street and sing Belle's song from Beauty and the Beast.


^ Not an American.

View from my hostel


Driving in the car with Sylvie on the way to Les Andelys to see the school for the first time

View from the hostel

Rue du Gros Horloge

Abbaye de Saint-Ouen

Place du Vieux Marche and the Joan of Arc Church

My cafe!

Classy.

From the walk from the train station at Gaillon-Aubevoye to the bus stop in Courcelles-sur-Seine

At the school outside of the auto body repair building (it's a vocational school, too)

View from the school

Lost in translation!

Teachers striking in Rouen

I took a lot of pictures of my apartment before I left two weeks later. I also put a lot of work into making it feel like home. =P

This is how my water was heated. Crazy.

And the guitar that Sylvie is letting me borrow!

Chloe and I took a random trip out to Evreux! We passed this dog training set-up that's right next to the Mairie of Bouafles (- pronounced "Bwaffles). I crack up every time I pass the sign for the chateau de Bouafles (loosely translated by me as "Bwaffles House")

Another one lost in translation: "Never stop to dream". Pretty sure "Never stop dreaming" would be the more inspiring English phrase for a handbag.

And then we bought delicious truffles.

I found the juxtaposition of the old town and the pop music from the radio that they were literally feeding into the streets pretty hilarious.

Bye! Thanks, Evreux!